blogging via crackberry is just too difficult

I really plan on blogging again soon. My laptop has been broken for some time but it should be back from being repaired next week. I have to much to catch you up on! For those who still stop by, that is. All one of you.

More soon! xoxo

25 Things About Me - aka Filler

I know, I know, but things are a little hectic right now. Until I have a free moment, please enjoy this list that I did because I got tagged with it on Facebook.


1. I still suck my thumb and don't plan on ever quitting.

2. I've loved lots of people but only been in love once. I was young and he was a douchebag.

3. My niece and nephew are my world and make me happier than anything.

4. That being said, I don't ever want to have kids of my own.

5. I played the cello in 5th grade and won a trophy for musician of the year…but I faked my way through the end of the year assembly. Shhh!

6. I was the mascot for my high school in 9th grade. I was a Bearkat. Don't ask.

7. In 10th grade I won 1st place at Drama Fest for a play I wrote about the struggle of 2 sisters in Bosnia during the war. Heavy stuff.

8. I was 1st Flight European Champion in golf my senior year of high school AND had the longest drive. I haven’t played golf since. Quit while you’re ahead, that’s what I always say.

9. I once broke up with a boyfriend who lived with me over IM…and he continued to live with me for a month afterward. Awkward.

10. I don’t really regret the relationship because I got Killian, the best dog in the world, out of it.

11. I didn’t drink beer in college. I was more of a Boones Farm Wild Island kinda girl. Weird, right?

12. When I was little I either wanted to be the closer for the NY Yankees or President of the United States.

13. I’ve often thought I was born way too late. I was meant to be a flower child.

14. While I hate reality TV, I am obsessed with The Hills. Oh, do I hate that Spencer!

15. Other than a day with the niece and nephew, I can’t think of anything more perfect than being surrounded by friends, having a few beers, and watching a good football game (and when it’s not football season, spending the day playing softball)

16. My sister is my best friend… now that she’s not such a brat.

17. One of these days I will write that novel.

18. My 2 favorite songs are Scarlet Begonias by the Grateful Dead and Maggie May by Rod Stewart.

19. I would have been a lawyer if I didn’t feel like having a panic attack at the mere thought of standing and speaking in front of strangers.

20. After it rains I try to save as many worms as I can that have crawled out onto the sidewalk.

21. Sometime I try and really think that I can move things with my mind. I have yet to succeed.

22. I once stayed up for 52 hours just to see how long I could stay awake.

23. I can’t witness people embarrassing themselves. It, literally, make my heart hurt. I find myself embarrassed for them.

24. I like to put cream cheese on my blueberry muffins.

25. Someday I’d like to own my own bar, a total dive with lots of personality. Mostly for the free beer.

Merry Christmas?

New post coming soon but I had to share this. My niece and nephew are the cutest kids in the world...except maybe in this picture. Nathan looks like a deer caught in the headlights and Kyle's face says, "Momma, why is this man touching me?" Classic.

Why yes, yes I am.

In the comments of the last post good ol' Anonymous* called me, and in all CAPS so that I couldn't miss it, a "SLUTTY WHORE". Oh you! Flattery will get you everywhere, especially with a slutty whore.

To tell you the truth, I am a slutty whore by most people's definition. I like to have sex and I don't want a relationship so when I feel the need, I get laid. Sometimes it's with someone that I have an understanding with, sometimes it's with a person I meet at a bar. I get what I need and nobody gets hurt. What I don't understand is why anyone cares.

What I do in my bedroom (or their bedroom..the back of a car...in an alley behind the dumpster) in no one's business but my own. If I'm not doing your boyfriend, husband, wife, or girlfriend, mind your own fucking business. And if I AM doing your boyfriend, husband, wife or girlfriend I probably didn't know about you. Probably.**

Some say that people like me make "women look bad" and that we don't respect ourselves or some bullshit like that. I respect myself plenty but I also like to get off and have fun. Sex is fun people! If you'd pull that stick out of your ass and have some then maybe you wouldn't be such a prude. Or maybe put the stick in your ass if that's what you're into.


*Anonymous aka Chickenshit
**That's what's called a "joke".

Sex with the Ex

I saw the Ex last weekend. I don't know why and I don't know how but he just makes me feel so bad about myself. It had been months since I'd even heard his name and as soon as I saw him all those feelings of inadequacy and all the "what it's" came flooding back. What if I were skinnier? What if I were prettier? The real question I should be asking is "What if he weren't such a douchebag?"

I pick guys that I think need me. They're broken and I want to fix them. You know what happens then? They lean on me and use me and I'm super supportive. Then when they're done it's all, "You're really great but...".

There's always a "but" and while I'm nice enough, there's always another girl who's prettier and skinnier once they're put back together again.

Anyway, the Ex and I ended up hanging out and getting really drunk. So what do I do? I could have just been like, "This is really nice that we can hang out and be friends." Instead it was more like, "I'm so going to sleep with him."

Listen, it's not often that I'm girly and make stupid girl mistakes but in my drunkeness I somehow reasoned that sex would make me feel better. If I could make him want me then I wasn't as hideous as I thought I was. Of course, I never took into consideration that men will pretty much sleep with anything.

The sex was as good as it ever was. It was so comfortable, you know? I mean, it was passionate and amazing, don't get me wrong, but it was familar. It's nice have that connection and be in sync with someone.

The best part about it was the next morning I didn't walk away with some sort of false hope that we would get back togther. I was finally able to let him go and know that it was never going to happen again.

Which is good because later in the day I found out that he has a girlfriend.

*crickets*

I may keep the milk indefinitely just because

Did you know that I actually made dinner one night last week? My oven was like, "What the fuck is going on?!" To tell you the truth, and don't tell my mom this because I can't stand her I told you so's, I kinda like it. It was the first time in awhile that I actually felt grown up. Sort of like the way I felt when I got my first credit card (that I immediately maxed out).

It wasn't anything fancy - chicken, corn, some tomato soup because it was a little chilly. I would have made mashed potatoes but the unopened pint of milk that's in my fridge expired 3 months ago. And I didn't have any potatoes.

It's funny how that simple meal that only took me 20 minutes to make could make me, a woman almost 31 years old, feel like a responsible adult.

Of course, the dishes are still in the sink and probably will be for awhile. It's possible that they'll stay there so long that I'll just decide that, instead of washing them, I should just throw them away and buy new ones. That's what usually happens.

And the milk's still there, too. The feeling was nice while it lasted.

I'm trying.

I really, really am but there are only so many posts a blogger can do about poop before you're like, "Seriously? Again with the poop?"

I honestly have absolutely nothing to write about. I even looked back in to see what it is I used to write about when I actually did blog - my incurable road rage, ridiculous gas prices and stupid boys. The 1st two are boring and there are and will always be stupid boys in my life. There's the one I have a crush on and the one that has a crush on me and the one that's just plain whacko. None I can write about right now of course so that doesn't help.

I crossed another thing off my 50 Things To Do Before 50 list. It's the one right between Have sex in a public place and Go to the zoo. It's not really something I want to write about yet though, so you'll have to wait. It's a kinda interesting story though. Sucks to be you.

I have found that the stuff that I want to talk about most lately is sports. I don't really take y'all for sports folks though so I'm actually going to start working on another blog so I have that outlet separate. Once I get it together I'll link it.

Is there anything YOU want me to write about? Help a sista out, will ya?