Fat with an F, not a PH

I've gained 10lbs in the last 2 weeks. I feel like I've literally been sticking my head into a trough of fast food and gorging myself. My check card statement reads like the who's who at an artery clogger convention; McDonald's, Wendy's, Taco Bell, oh my!

Burger King let's me have it my way while Chipotle burritos are like bricks of goodness from heaven. I heart the Colonel's KFC bowls but prefer Chick-fil-a's chicken sandwich. Popeye's fries are the best, followed closely by McD's. If I want a hotdog, A&W is not too far but if I'm craving pizza, Papa John's brings it right to my door. For dessert, there's nothing better than Dunkin Donuts. None of that Krispy Kreme crap.

That's not even mentioning Jack in the Box, Sonic, or White Castle because they don't have those here.

Did you just have a heart attack reading that? Me too. Wasn't it glorious?

I go through these phases once and a while where I just stuff my face with as much crap as I possibly can. Kinda like a bulimic without the purging. I assume it's normal. I assume a lot of people have a couple of episodes a year where they eat enough to feed a small nation for a lifetime. Please don't tell me otherwise.

Luckily, Nat has come to the rescue. Because I'm taking the next 26 days off from drinking (yes, there is a running countdown clock in my head), she thought this was a good time to recruit me for Weight Watchers. Now, when I say recruit I mean, threatened to maim me and kill The Killian if I didn't. I kid, she was very persuasive but I have already dubbed her the DubDub Nazi

I've heard good things about the WW. I'm kind of excited about it, although that whole weighing in outside the comfort of my bathroom is a little unsettling. I mean, who are these people that are given the task of seeing you onto the scale? Have the taken sensitivity training so they know how to handle women like me who come waddling in with our manatee-like blubber? Are they current or former WWers? One would think that they would be the best candidates for the job but really they're probably the worst. I can just see them sitting there all slim and smug thinking, "Looks like someone added a few too many points to their menu this week." I know I totally would.

How could it get any better? A diet and no booze. The next 26 days are going to be AWESOME.