I'm getting married!

This is what happens when I drink too much. I meet a guy who's in town from LA for a couple of days and he's great. He mentions that he's going to be in Vegas soon and I agree to meet him there and marry him.

My mom will be so proud...and it would make great blog material.

I will say he's adorable though. He looks like Tiki Barber! Ask Nat.

I'll be back soon to discuss what a drunkass I am.

I'm a shitty blogger.

I know this, you know this.

Life is just too full right now but, unfortunately, it's all the same crap - go out, drink beer, come home, pass out. Sometimes the last two are reversed but you get the idea.

I'm not going to lie, I've been thinking of hangin' up the ol' blog. It seems I have very little to say. I'm going through a Thirdlife crisis and it's not as interesting. In a Quarterlife crisis you've got questions and discovery. In a Midlife crisis there's change and rediscovery. Apparently, in a Thirdlife crisis there's just lots of booze.

I'll try and be better about the updates. If you look to the left and scroll down in my sidebar, I've added Twitter. I'll probably keep that up-to-date since I can easily do it from my phone.

Superstition tears us apart?

I don't believe in God or any religion because I find them silly. The same thing goes for astrology, horoscopes, witches, ghosts, etc. No offense*, but to me believing in such things would be like still believing in the Easter Bunny or Santa Claus.

That being said, it might surprise you to know that I am the most superstitious person in the world. When I spill salt, I immediately throw it over my shoulder;I would never, ever walk under a ladder; open umbrellas indoors make me want to cry;and I stay as far away from black cats as humanly possible. Of course, I'm most superstitious when it comes to sports.

If I find that Ryan Zimmerman hits better when my right leg is crossed over my left while patting my head with my eyes crossed, I will do that everytime he is at bat. If the Redskins win everytime I order a Big Mac with fries on a Tuesday, I'll eat a lot of Big Macs and fries. The Capitals lost every game that I didn't have my Ovechkin jersey because The Boy had decided to wear it. I take full responsibility for this series having to go to tonight's game 7. It also has not gone unnoticed that this might mean The Boy is bad luck and I will have to stop seeing him...at least until the Caps are out of the playoffs which will NOT be tonight because I have my jersey back.

I'm not sure where this came from but it has gotten increasingly worse over the years. It used to be that I could watch a game with out shifting in my seat 12 million times like I'm a satellite dish and I'm trying to adjust to get a clearer picture. I somehow seem to think that I have a lot of pull in what happens in the universe.

*Why is it if you say 'no offense' that seems to make everything alright?
"No offense, but your mom's a whore."
"Well, he said 'no offense' so he must not have been trying to be offensive."


Update: The Caps lost. It appears the jersey has lost all it's mojo. It's really a shame because now I'll have to burn it and it cost me $200.

DubDub research

Weight Watchers week 2 weight lost: 4.6lbs
Total weight lost: 5.4lbs

I had a better DubDub week last week as you can see. I'm getting the hang of finding out what I like and can eat. It's a little tricky because they say that it's not a diet and that you can still eat your favorite foods but really you can't. I mean, let's say I want pizza. One slice is 7 points and that's almost an entire meal for a day without dipping into my 35 weekly anytime points. Can you eat one piece of pizza? Neither can I.

So, in order to keep from starving to death, I went online and started researching what was low in points. I thought I could find things I could fill up on but then I got distracted by things I came across. For instance, this is actually listed:


Was it really necessary it even mention it? I mean, is there someone somewhere looking into their glass and going, "I wonder how many points these are"?

What about this:



Now, I'm aware they're edible but seriously? Imagine walking down the street and feeling a little snacky. Instead of heading to McD's, you just jump in someone's yard and chow down on their garden.

You know what I didn't know was edible?



I don't care how much you cook and salt them, I'm pretty sure they would taste like crap and wouldn't go down too easy. Maybe you're just supposed to eat them still lodged in whatever you've killed:




After seeing that, this wasn't all that surprising:



This was to be expected:



But this I didn't see coming:



I couldn't help it. If you don't get it, you don't watch The Office. Check it.

poop

I was just sitting here thinking about how much I like the word "poop". The more I thought about it, the more I liked it. As a matter of fact, I like it so much that I just went on the Virginia DMV website to see if someone already has the vanity plate.

They do but do you know what is available? Poopy. EVEN BETTER!

Like Lindsey Lohan

I'm quite possibly the tiredest person alive. I have been moving nonstop for the last week and last night was the first night in I don't know how long I didn't have a drink. It was lovely to get to sleep at a decent hour. Now if only I could take a solid poop.

Too much?

I was so tired the other day that when I took Killian out to pee I thought, "It would be kind of awesome to have 4 legs. You could, like, run fast and stuff.". I have absolutely no idea where that came from.

I'm starting to realize why celebrities check into the hospital for "exhaustion". Before I just thought they were pussies but an overfilled schedule certainly does take it's toll. I wonder what would happen if I went down to my local hospital and told them I wanted to be admitted.

Tonight I'm supposed to have a quiet night with The Boy that does NOT include alcohol. Hopefully things go as planned because if I even see one more bottle of Budweiser I may very well pass out on the spot. (I am in no way swearing off alcohol. We know how that went last time.)

How have all of you been? I've missed you. I'll be back soon. I've come up with tons of more thing to bitch about.


(I wrote this post yesterday but apparently it didn't get published when I tried to do so via Crackberry. FYI - I did have a wonderfully laid back night watching The Boy play hockey and then cuddling up to a movie.)

I actually ate broccoli today. Broccoli!

Last week was my first full week doing Weight Watchers. I have to say, I should have picked another time. There was the circus, my niece's birthday, and a Capitals game. You know what that all equals? Cotton candy, popcorn, cake, mom's cooking and lots of beer. As if that wasn't bad enough, it was that time of the month. At weigh in on Tuesday I lost .8lbs. That's not an 8, that's POINT 8. Hey, at least I lost something, right?

Ugh.

Fortunately, this week I'm doing much better and I'm starting to get the hang of it. It's amazing how much food I'm used to consuming. I look at what WW says is how much I'm supposed to eat as a meal and I think, "It looks like half of a snack." Who knew I could survive on a third of what I was eating?

I have the monthly pass which gives me access to the WW website. You can keep track of your points and your weight. One thing I found in the weight section is what WW says my goal weight is. When I saw the number I actually laughed out loud. "They have to be kidding. That's what my thigh weighs." Let's just say WW wants me to lose double what I think I can lose. Double!

The more I think about it though, the more I'm starting to realize I could do it. I mean, if I actually stuck to the plan and found my way back to the gym (it's now been more than a year since I've gone even though I still pay for it), it could actually work!

But let's not get ahead of ourselves. Right now I'm just hoping I break the pound mark at next weigh in.